Maybe That's What it Could Be
Sometimes I don’t even know what to write about, but I know I want to write about it. I keep aiming for perfection, and perfection keeps me from attaining it: attaining anything. All that matters is constant improvement and progress. Perfection keeps me from starting because of fear that I will not attain it; maybe not fear, but the overwhelming height that I must climb to achieve that goal. If I were to reduce myself and aim for something more attainable, I may very well do more. And at the end of the day, that’s what matters most: that we do more and more, and become capable of more and more.
Not every piece that I write must be perfect; no piece of art. Let it be something that simply helps me get better. Let it be something that helps me build the habit of skills. I will eventually become great, but for now, I start small.
Once the habit is formed, it will slowly get easier and easier, and soon I won’t have to face the devil of procrastination: the pressure of an immense goal preventing me from achieving anything. I must simply try; try and be as good as I can, and make myself better through practice. Over and over. Let me commit to these hobbies so I can achieve more than I am, so that I can level up the parts of me that I desire. Is this something I want to achieve in my life? If it is so, then let it be; let it happen. Make it happen. Or do nothing and despair. It is do or die. Why would you rather not and rot away? What better do you have? What else could we do? Sedate ourselves and let time flow by? It is easier and easier: distracting my life away.
Because do I even enjoy it anyway? Work towards a goal and dream that can fulfill you. Quick hits will never fulfill you; long-term goals could. But do I care to maintain it? Do I care to enjoy it? Will I enjoy it? What do I care for? Is there anything that I could dedicate my life towards? It all feels pointless and empty. But what else to do with my time? It’s not like distracting it away is any better; it is just easier, with less resistance. Work is always work. This is why discipline is so important to develop. I must do it even when I don’t want to. But what if I truly don’t want to? Then what? Find a thing that you want to. That’s all. Test them all and find the thing that you can and will enjoy, whatever that is.
What is the point of writing? I want to show off and gain acclamation? Who cares. I want to teach and improve and help others? Maybe so. I want to create a piece of creative art, creative writing: it is fun to do and read. Maybe my writing can be to help spread teachings and learnings in an artistic and creative way. Maybe that’s what it could all be.