Have to Do It

I have no choice but to do it. Do it, and do it all the way. What else is there to do? Nothing. Because the other day, the other option, is simply giving up. Have to do it alone; have to do it misunderstood, mocked, belittled, hungry, empty, without what seems like a future. Have to do it. I am nothing.

What else am I going to do? No one’s going to understand or care; that’s the world and that’s life. Why should I even care? Let them not. Forget it, it shouldn’t matter.

Well, it would be hard to care for those who do not care. It’d be hard to find that they matter if they cannot care, or even understand, or even try to understand. The lack of acknowledgement creates distance. Losing value in them. And if I lose value in all, I’d be right back where I began. Except now, I’ll be older, wiser, and more okay with it all.

Can I really live a life where I care for no one at all? Do I need people? It is innate in our biology to need people and each other. Of course it is. But can I escape it? Can I live a somewhat mixed shallow and depth with those who I am not attached to? And still find my place, or satisfaction, without ever finding my people, or people who I can call home?

It wouldn’t be ideal. But when is it ever ideal? Sometimes we must accept and deal with it. It is life; nothing about it is promised to be fair. It is simply life. We live and then we die. Might as well attempt to make the best of it, even when it is not going as wished. Should always make the best of it, even if it is going as wished.

I have to do it. Otherwise, I’d waste my years and life in this existence. What else am I to do? No matter what happens, no matter the circumstance, no matter the trial, I shall live it, and not despair. Because despair only brings wasted time, and time I do not wish to waste. I must grow and continue, in whichever way I may.

I do not need anything but myself and my mind, along with my heart and soul. If a human does not accompany me, then that is fine; that is something I will have to deal with and accept. It may not be ideal, but it is what it is.

If no one sees me, or hears me, then that too is fine. I will have to accept it for what it is. It is my life and my only time; why waste it wishing it were something else? Why waste it down in despair, when I can be headstrong floating in air?

The only thing that can stop me shall be death.

I will achieve, and I will win. Alone shall it be? Then shall it be.

Enough with these wasted ideals and dreams; delusions are them all. Just live. Aim towards the best, hope for it all, wish for it to come true, place your feet forward and jump with all your might. So long as your heart dreams it, then it is your destiny. You know what it is that you want. That is all that matters. If it comes, it comes; if not, then continue. And continue. If things do not work your way, it is of no issue. That does not mean you should stop and cave in; just keep going. On to the next one, and the next, and the next. Because remember: it is always about the journey, not the destination.

Even if you were to lose every step of the way, every dream and every goal, the journey itself should take you there. It should still be a satisfying life. It is never about the end; the hunt is all we need. Losing will only make us more powerful. Winning, us more greedy.

There is a calm to life; only the truly lived will understand. You breathe out slowly and in deeply. It is life, and we accept it all in it’s whollyness.

For we live, and we die. That is our story.