Life Alone

To live life alone: what is the point? The point of it all. I don’t know what I’m doing, only that I need to be doing it; or I think I need to, or that I should. What else would I do? Where would I go? Who would I be? This is all I know. I think we all live as all we know; even when we push out to become something new, we do so from a place we once knew. Surely we can become different. I am not saying that we can’t, but we can only go so far from home.

I believe it’s known that we can only explore as far as it is safe at home. If we don’t feel safe, we lose too much focus on staying safe. Only when we feel safe can we venture out and beyond, spending our energy on the things we chase; otherwise, we’ll have none and be left dead astray. But what does all that matter when you’ve got no choice? Because what else can we do? We have no choice but to do it and get it done, regardless of how you feel about it. Or else you’re stuck, drowning in quicksand.

We can’t move too quick and rash, else we crash and sink. We can’t stay still, because we’ll get nowhere. We must do something to get out of it; which direction you may not know, but a direction you must go. Free-form writing: let it write itself, let it build itself, let it direct itself.

What can I hope to accomplish living life alone? Where am I headed? Where do I aim to go? Without direction, all is lost. I know my who, what, where, and why, but they feel impossible because they’ve never been. Something unattainable. Either way, I have no choice. I must go and head that way, always.

The one and constant step will always be to become myself: to self-actualize. To trust that all will fall in place as I fall in place. Avoid the distractions of other materialistic outcomes; focus on self and the direction you want to head. It is not over yet, until we are dead.

What is it that we want to accomplish? That will give us drive, direction, and heart. Something that will give us life, a home, community, and tribal satisfaction. It is not money alone. It is not living alone. What is it? Having a family? Leading? Teaching? Building? Guiding? Something amongst it all? But what role? Will it have to be something I build of my own? Perhaps.

Money will always be an issue though.